Return to Rational Dress
Fashion Tips for Boys
Until the mid twentieth century, people wore the same practical and dignified clothing for work, recreation, and transportation. When central heating and car culture came along, dressing to go outside became a special project. So most people stayed in, and didn’t ride bikes. Now, as practical cycling is becoming popular again, the idea that cycling requires special clothes persists. Don’t believe it. If your great-grandparents could ride bikes in normal clothes, you can, too. You can ride swiftly for long distances, without getting stinky, chafed, or soaking wet. You can look presentable in a meeting, on a date, or at the symphony; and you can get there on a bike. Here’s what to keep in mind.
Know your fibre
When cotton gets wet it sucks away body heat. If you are back of beyond this could be fatal. No joke. Even in summer sweaty damp cotton is no fun.
Plastic, especially polypropylene, stinks after extended wearing because bacteria builds up on it. Plastic also stinks insofar as the vinyl compounds that make up so-called waterproof breathable layers often include thalites and other highly toxic compounds. The dyes that produce bright colours, especially high-visibility electric green are also nasty.
Wool is the best. The best of the best is merino. It’s not itchy so you can wear it next to your skin. It’s expensive but not as much as you think. It’s inherently antibacterial so it repels odour. It’s stretchy so it won’t chafe. It stays warm when it’s wet. It keeps you cool in summer. It’s amazing.
Don’t skimp on briefs
Spend twice as much on your undies as on anything else you wear, including shoes. Long underwear is not just for arctic expeditions. In spring and fall, long undies will allow you to wear lighter clothes overall. Merino undies are super, but nylon is okay.
A good walking shoe is a good cycling shoe
The most important attribute of a cycling shoe is a sticky sole. If your shoes are grippy enough you can pull your pedals past the high and low spots as well as you can with clip-in shoes. And when it’s really ugly out, gumboots win out over dinky overbooties any day.
Classic styles are prêt à rouler
Top coat, turtleneck sweater, and breeches: together the outerwear trifecta. You can get them at boutiques or at the thrift store – they are still stylish and functional.
Long dress coats have a split down the back called a vent. Originally this facilitated riding a horse. It persists to allow bicycle riding. Three-quarter length coats are ideal – short enough that they don’t catch in the spokes of the rear wheel, and the extra length keeps the rain off your back. The coattails flap fetchingly as you ride.
Turtleneck sweaters were likely first worn by fishermen. Keeping your neck warm keeps the rest of your body warm. Plus you’ll be classy like Audrey Hepburn.
Breeches – If you look at pictures of men from the 18th or early 19th century you’ll notice that they are wearing short pants that gather just below the knee. This makes a lot of sense for serious walking, horse riding, and cycling, and until recently was something you could wear in polite company. It’s a style worth fighting for, especially if you have knee socks that match your cravat. That said, pant clips work fine and are the only cycling accessory mentioned in a Philip Larkin poem.
Water flows as easily off the backs of swans as of ugly ducklings. Dress accordingly.
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